Candy Rankings Banner

Over here at Lemon Baby, we take candy seriously. Perhaps too seriously? Nah–no such thing. Let’s face it, Halloween is ALL. ABOUT. THE. CANDY. Costumes are cool, sure. But what would trick ‘or’ treating be without the sugar coma? I shudder to think. And when it comes to Halloween candy, there are the standout stars and the lame losers. Here’s Lemon Baby‘s Ultimate Guide to Halloween Candy Rankings.

So when I’m “enacting” my Mom Tax (aka selecting a third of my son and daughter’s haul after they’ve passed out in sugary bliss on All Hallow’s Eve), these are the ones I’m taking and leaving.

Top 10 Halloween Candy

1. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

Coming in number one in Halloween candy rankings is a classic for a reason. You really can’t improve upon milk chocolate and peanut butter (although THANK YOU Reese’s for coming out with the dark variety), and no one should try, but we award bonus points for festive shapes like bats and pumpkins. And the ones stuffed with Reeses’ Pieces because those are LEGIT. Please, white chocolate imposter ghosts need not apply, as ye assuredly will appear on the loser list.

Reeses Peanut Butter Cups
Photo Credit Hersheys

2. Three Musketeers 

So this one might be a sleeper hit, but I stand by it. I have absolutely zero idea how one makes nougat, but it’s the nectar of the Halloween spirits, and I dig it. Fluffy, vaguely chocolatey, and totally nostalgic.

3. Swedish Fish

Another unexpected top contender for Halloween candy rankings, but I feel compelled to specify only the mini, all-red package. Some candies just weren’t meant to be multi-flavored. Swedish Fish were invented in the 1950’s, and in true American style, they’re marketed as a fat free food, which removes the guilt entirely, natch?

swedish fish in a bowl halloween candy
Photo Credit Provincetown Fudge Factory

4. Whoppers

Anyone who doesn’t think Whoppers are king can fight me. To prove my point, they were first sold in America by the king of American chocolate, Hershey’s, in 1949, but were first created ten years before under the name Giants. Bonus points for giving out their snooty UK cousins, Maltesers, not that anyone in the U.S. actually does that, but a gal can dream, right? Maltesers were actually were invented first, sorry, but we won the American Revolution, so there’s that.

5. Heath/SKOR

Due to its insanely sticky texture, toffee is a dentist’s dream (or second vacation house, rather), but I love it. It may pull out a filling or two, but it’s so worth it. Heath Bars are a classic, but a full-size SKOR bar is a serious score. See what I did there?

SKOR bars
Photo Credit eBay

6. Candy Corn/Mallow Pumpkins

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know ya’ll hate it. I don’t care. It’s awesome, and I can smell a bowl of candy corn about a hundred feet away. I’m like one of those truffle hunting pigs, but for these kinda waxy, so-sweet-they-make-me-a-little-dizzy Halloween classics, obvi.

7. Milky Way

Caramel, check. Chocolate, check. Aforementioned nougat, check. The gang’s all here. Oh, and if my kids are lucky enough to snag a Midnight bar? *cackling with glee*

8. 100 Grand

Unlike in a Nestle Grand, the crispy rice in a 100 Grand bar just works. I can’t say that I’d pay $100,000 for it, but gooey caramel, milk chocolate, and rice crispies are all good in my book.

9. Butterfinger

My husband’s favorite, this unique candy bar has earned a spot on the top ten list. Sure, it’s tooth-achingly sweet and always a little messy, but I just can’t say no to those golden shards of goodness. If you’re a Butterfinger fan, make sure you check out honeycomb, its U.K. relative across the pond.

10. Sour Patch Kids

Sure, the citric acid takes off the top two layers of your tastebuds if you can’t control your portions, but there’s something to be said for such a savage candy. It’s the Joan Rivers of Halloween candy.

Sour patch Kids
Photo Credit: Candy Favorites

The Worst Halloween Candy Offenders

My kids can have these–you won’t catch me within five feet of ’em.

10. Peanut M&Ms

This is definitely an unpopular opinion, but have you ever smelled your own breath after eating a “fun size” packet of these things? There’s nothing fun about dragon breath, especially if you’re stuck nearly passing out from it wafting from the person next to you.

9. Laffy Taffy

I don’t even care that there are other flavors–this candy is a banana flavored abomination. It’s also nearly impossible to chew. Shame on you, Wonka. You’re way better than this.

laffy taffy
Photo Credit Candy Concepts Inc

8. Snickers

Oy with the peanuts, already! By now you’ve probably figured out that while I love peanut butter, I don’t love actual peanuts. Yes, I know that’s weird. More for you and all that nonsense.

7. Tootsie Fruit Chews

This company jumped the shark after Tootsie Roll Pops, which are awesome. Quit while you’re ahead. If something can be molded to resemble a cat turd, imma skip it.

6. Hot Tamales or Red Hots

Hot Tamales and Red Hots, go back to the Inferno from whence you assuredly came. Seriously–what is with hot cinnamon flavored anything? Last time I checked, chugging a bottle of Tabasco simple syrup wasn’t on my bucket list.

5. Good & Plenty

They resemble suppositories (plus licorice, ew). Enough said. Throw in Mike and Ike for the same reason.

Good & plenty
Photo Credit: Old Time Candy

4. Milk Duds

Lost four loose teeth of this worst Halloween candy ranking contender while eating these as a kid at a movie. Can’t even see the telltale yellow box without tasting the slight iron tang of blood. Next.

3. Runts

Candy coated concrete, as a friend remarked. Who actually eats them?

2. Dots

Dots? Even their name is bad. They’re unbelievably hard and tasteless gum drops without the ever-so-slightly redeeming sugar coating. Drop it like it’s hot. ‘Cause it’s not.

1. Necco Wafers

If Rolaids and sidewalk chalk had a baby, it would be a Necco wafer. The absolutely worst Halloween candy ranking award goes to that ancient cylinder of powdered disappointment. Looks like a roll of quarters and tastes like it, too.

Necco Wafers
Photo Credit: Amazon

Well, there you have it: the Ultimate Halloween Candy Rankings, according to yours truly. Now it’s your turn. Have I nailed it or missed the mark? Let me have it in the comments!

51 thoughts on “Halloween Candy Rankings: The Ultimate Guide”

  1. I would like to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in writing this site. I am hoping to check out the same high-grade blog posts from you in the future as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my own blog now 😉

  2. Everything is very open with a really clear description of the issues. It was definitely informative. Your website is extremely helpful. Many thanks for sharing!

  3. When I initially left a comment I appear to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now every time a comment is added I recieve 4 emails with the same comment. There has to be a means you are able to remove me from that service? Cheers!

  4. There are absolutely a lot of information like that to consider. That is an excellent indicate bring up. I provide the ideas over as basic motivation but plainly there are questions like the one you raise where one of the most vital point will certainly be operating in truthful good faith. I don?t recognize if best techniques have actually arised around things like that, but I make sure that your task is clearly determined as a fair game. Both young boys and also ladies feel the effect of simply a moment?s pleasure, for the remainder of their lives.

  5. Greetings, I believe your site could be having internet browser compatibility issues. When I look at your website in Safari, it looks fine however, if opening in IE, it has some overlapping issues. I simply wanted to provide you with a quick heads up! Besides that, wonderful site!

  6. An outstanding share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a co-worker who had been conducting a little research on this. And he in fact bought me dinner simply because I stumbled upon it for him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending the time to discuss this topic here on your blog.

  7. Your style is so unique in comparison to other folks I’ve read stuff from. I appreciate you for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I will just book mark this site.

  8. I blog often and I seriously appreciate your information. This article has truly peaked my interest. I’m going to book mark your site and keep checking for new information about once a week. I subscribed to your Feed as well.

  9. When I originally commented I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on whenever a comment is added I get 4 emails with the exact same comment. Is there a means you can remove me from that service? Thanks a lot!

  10. I really like your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you
    create this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you?
    Plz reply as I’m looking to construct my own blog and would like to find
    out where u got this from. kudos

  11. Area on with this article, I truly believe this site needs far more factor to consider. I?ll possibly be once again to check out much more, many thanks for that information.

  12. Greate post. Keep posting such kind of information on your site.

    Im really impressed by your blog.
    Hey there, You have performed a great job. I’ll certainly
    digg it and for my part recommend to my friends.
    I’m confident they will be benefited from this
    site.

  13. This is the best blog site for any individual who intends to find out about this topic. You recognize a lot its nearly hard to suggest with you (not that I actually would want?HaHa). You absolutely placed a new spin on a topic thats been covered for several years. Wonderful stuff, just wonderful!

  14. Thanks a lot for sharing this with all folks you really recognize what you’re talking about!
    Bookmarked. Please also consult with my web site =). We can have a hyperlink trade arrangement among us

  15. I admire the useful facts you offer inside your articles. I will bookmark your weblog and also have my children verify up here often. I’m very sure they’ll learn a lot of new things right here than anybody else!

  16. A fascinating discussion deserves remark. I assume that you ought to create extra on this topic, it may not be a frowned on subject but normally individuals are not enough to speak on such topics. To the following. Cheers

  17. Area on with this review, I really assume this internet site requires much more consideration. I?ll most likely be once again to check out much more, thanks for that details.

  18. Great blog! Do you have any tips for aspiring writers? I’m hoping to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you recommend starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that I’m totally overwhelmed .. Any recommendations? Appreciate it!

  19. I am really loving the theme/design of your web site. Do you ever run into any browser compatibility problems? A few of my blog readers have complained about my website not working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Chrome. Do you have any tips to help fix this issue?

  20. Howdy! This article could not be written any better!
    Reading through this article reminds me of my previous roommate!
    He continually kept talking about this. I will forward this article to him.

    Pretty sure he will have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!

  21. Hi, i think that i saw you visited my web site thus i came to “return the favor”.I’m trying to find things to
    enhance my site!I suppose its ok to use a few of your ideas!!

  22. Does your blog have a contact page? I’m having a tough time locating
    it but, I’d like to send you an e-mail.
    I’ve got some recommendations for your blog you might
    be interested in hearing. Either way, great website and
    I look forward to seeing it expand over time.

  23. Wow! At last I got a website from where I be able to actually obtain valuable
    data regarding my study and knowledge.

Comments are closed.